One would think that a tiny bait fish no longer than your thumb would have a minuscule effect, if any, on the fate and fortunes of the most intelligent (if not the smartest) animal on the planet. But five years ago I became, with the help of the federal government, one of the most destructive creatures in America.
Some envirofreaks had gone to Washington and got me declared an "endangered species" (whatever that means). Then, in December 2008, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service decreed that the irrigation pumps supplying the San Joaquin Valley be shut down to make sure that I had enough water. Of course, I've always had enough water. In the past five years, in fact, three million acre-feet of water have been flushed out of the delta into San Francisco Bay – water that could have gone to irrigate crops to feed Americans.
What the panic politicians in Washington are calling the California drought has been building for five years – and they caused it! The crowning act of duplicity was President Barack Obama coming out to the San Joaquin Valley in February 2014 and telling the parched residents that their government incompetence induced misery was the result of the Gore Fantasy, which the hysteriocrats in Washington call "global warming." Of course, no one – including, I suspect, the President – believed a word of it. The people who live in the San Joaquin Valley know full well the source of their financial ruin, and it's not naturally occurring cyclical climate change. Anyone who actually believes that it is is dumber than the average Democrat. And that includes you, Mr. President.
No, it's my fault. But in fairness to me, I was not even aware of what the incompetent government goons were doing in my name. So, as the price of your lettuce and milk goes through the ceiling, please don't blame me. I'm just a little fish.