And one day the green giant did come out of the forests and did speak to the people of Amiracle, "Oh people of Amiracle, you are polluting the land and you are destroying the forests that are my home. You must stop this pollution."
And the people did say, "Oh, green giant, what must we do to stop this pollution thing?" And the green giant did say, "You must recycle."
And the green giant did make a contract with a far-off land called Nowood to sell them used newsprint, because Nowood had no trees from which to make its own paper. And he did tell the people, "You must recycle your old newspapers to me so that you need not cut down trees to make paper." And the people did give their old newspapers to the green giant and he did sell them to Nowood for a healthy profit. And the people, meanwhile, had to cut down even more trees to make more paper.
And the green giant did say unto the people, "You must develop renewable sources of energy. You must make alcohol from corn to replace the fossil fuels you are consuming or you will run out of fossil fuels." And the people did make alcohol from corn, but the alcohol ruined the engines in their automobiles, and the price of corn rose, and the people had to pay more for beef and pork and foods that contained corn meal and corn oil and corn syrup.
And the green giant did make a contract with plastics manufacturers to sell them reground plastic containers for less money than virgin plastic. And he did say to the people, "You must recycle your plastic bottles to me, for they are a scourge upon the landscape."
And the people did give unto the green giant all their used plastic bottles and he did sell them for a handsome profit. But the reground plastic caused more scrap, and the plastics manufacturers raised their prices, and the people did pay more for plastic goods. And the people who made virgin plastic lost their jobs.
Meanwhile, the green giant was infecting more and more of the people with Envirohysteria, and they did turn green and ripe for plucking.
And the green giant did convince the people who had contracted Envirohysteria that Carbon Dioxide, a vile gas that they exhaled from their bodies, did affect the climate of the whole planet. And the people said, "Oh, green giant, what shall we do?"
And the green giant said, "You cannot stop breathing, for then you would be of no economic use to me. So you must pay a tax for breathing." And the people said, "Oh, wise green giant, we will pay the tax to save the planet from our breathing."
And the green giant did pocket the tax, and forthwith he did say to the people, "Burning oil makes Carbon Dioxide, and we must stop drilling for oil. You must give me money to develop solar energy and wind power." But the solar energy fizzled and wind power only killed birds and set fires to the landscape. And the people who drilled for oil and who made gasoline lost their jobs, and the people ran out of gasoline for their cars and had to ride bicycles.
Then the green giant said to the people, "You must stop burning coal to make electricity, for coal makes Carbon Dioxide." And the people did say, "But green giant, we have always burned coal and have breathed the Carbon Dioxide with no ill effect."
But the green giant did say," Do not argue with me, for I am a giant, and I know better what is good for you than you yourselves do." And the people did obey and shut down their coal fired power plants, and the coal miners lost their jobs, and the cost of electricity did rise so high hat the people were forced to burn candles for light.
Then the green giant came unto the people once again and did say, "People of Amiracle, you must give me more money to fight the global warming, or we will surely all be fried to death."
But the people did say, "Oh green giant, we have no more money, for you have taken it all to make us treeless, and to make us pay more for food and for plastic bottles, and to make us jobless, and to make us pay the tax, and to make us ride bicycles, and to make us burn candles for light."
And the people did change the name of their country from Amiracle to Hysterica.