Then it came to pass that Hillary's parents sent her to Warthog, a school of witchcraft in the misty mid-regions of a weird and evil land known as Massabuses. And at Warthog, Hillary was indoctrinated with the black arts of Alinskyism. And it came to pass that, under the evil influences of Warthog, Hillary did morph into a horrible creature – half Demon and half Plutocrat – known as a Democrat.
And while in Massabuses, Hillary did meet and marry another Democrat named Bill Klingon. And Bill Klingon in due course did become the ruler of his home country of Ardentsquaw. And while Bill did enjoy the ardent squaws of Ardentsquaw, Hillary did enjoy all the perquisites of being First Lady of Ardentsquaw, such as bribery, blackmail, extortion, embezzlement of State funds, and the occasional murder.
And it came to pass that Bill Klingon was driven forth from the land of Ardentsquaw by a white knight named Frank White. And Bill did forthwith fall under an evil spell called Trilateralism, which was cast by a great warlock named David Rottenfellow.
And David Rottenfellow did conjure Bill into the position of emperor of the land of Woebegone DC. And Hillary did prosper as First Lady of Woebegone DC, bestowing royal largess on many people on whom she would later call to repay the favors.
And it came to pass that while they were empress and emperor of Woebegone DC, Hillary and Bill did fall under the spell of Opensocietyism, the evil witchcraft of a warlock named George Sorrows. Opensocietyism, in the doublespeak of warlocks, means a closed society totally controlled by warlocks. And Hillary and Bill were seduced into practicing this witchcraft from their castle, the White House, to the great detriment of all fifty of the kingdoms associated with Woebegone DC.
And the warlock George Sorrows did promise unto Hillary that he would appoint her empress of Woebegone DC. But warlock Sorrows later decided that another of his disciples, Bassackward Obungle, could do more harm to the fifty kingdoms than could Hillary, and so he chose Obungle over Hillary to be emperor of Woebegone DC.
But George Sorrows did compensate Hillary by appointing her Secretary of Satan. And Hillary did fly her broom to and fro across the entire world enriching herself in the service of Satan, and she did acquire much riches and many evil friends.
Then it came to pass that Bassackward Obungle did do so much harm to the fifty kingdoms that the people thereof did rise up and impeach him and remove him from office. And they did put his jester, Joe Blunderforth, on the throne in his stead.
But Joe Blunderforth was a clown, not an emperor, and he did wreak so much havoc that at the first opportunity, the fifty kingdoms did invade Woebegone DC and put on the throne a president of their choosing.
And everyone lived happily ever after, except Hillary Goblin Klingon, who faded away like the smoke from a Halloween bonfire.