And Whosetownians were proud of the rough-and-ready frontier heritage of their city. And they wore boots and jeans and belts with big buckles and cowboy hats. And they did drive big pickup trucks with gun racks in the back window, and did glory in such manly arts as rodeos and arm wrestling and beer drinking.
Then it came to pass that the inhabitants of Whosetown did elect themselves a mayor. And the Mayor's name was Asinine Pervert. And it forthwith was made evident unto them that Mayor Asinine Pervert was a queer, and that she did seek to make all of the inhabitants of Whosetown queer.
And it came to pass that Mayor Pervert did have her privy council to enact a City Ordinance in Whosetown that she called the Evil Rites Ordinance. And the Evil Rites Ordinance did decree that henceforth men could use girls' restrooms in Whosetown.
And the people of Whosetown did say unto the Mayor, "This is an abomination and an unclean thing you have done to us. And we must fight this abomination and expel this unclean thing from our midst." And they did present to the Mayor a petition to remove from them the unclean thing that was defiling their fair city.
But Mayor Pervert did have her minion, town solicitor David Geldman, to declare that the petition was invalid by reason of his deciiding that it was invalid.
And the people of Whosetown did rise up in anger and did file a lawsuit against Mayor Pervert and solicitor Geldman to force them to honor the peoples' petition. And solicitor Geldman did issue a subpoena to obtain the sermons of certain ministers in Whosetown who were known to be against the Evil Rites Ordinance, in an obvious effort to silence them.
But the people did rise up and say, "This is a further abomination, for it is a violation of our religious freedom." And they did say unto Mayor Pervert and solicitor Geldman, "Whose town praytell is this, anyway? For behold, you queers are less than 2% of the population, while we cowboys are more than 98%. And if y'all know what's good for you, you won't mess with us."
And Mayor Pervert forthwith did direct her privy council to rescind the Evil Rites Ordinance and she did fire town solicitor David Geldman, and he did become a bouncer in a Chicago men's bathhouse.
And the inhabitants of Whosetown went back to their rodeos and arm wrestling and beer drinking.