© G. E. Kruckeberg 2015
I woke up this morning with a sore toe.
I thought it was gout, but who the hell knows.
Last week I had a pain in my ankle.
The week before, I thought I had shingles.
At my age, pain comes and goes like a fad.
You never know where, how long, or how bad.
"Old age," to paraphrase Elbert Hubbard,
"Is just one damn pain after another."
As children we spend our time learning stuff.
As adults, we spend our time doing stuff.
And when we at last achieve old age,
We spend our time looking for stuff we've mislaid.
(I'll bring this poem to its proper end
As soon as I find my @#$%!&* pen.)
I see lots of rainbow tee shirts these days,
And "no one's illegal" is all the rage.
Then of course there's the "black lives mater" crew
With their" I can't breathe," and "hands up don't shoot."
And I still wear a Reagan tee shirt.
I guess I must be older than dirt.
When I take my wife out to eat these days
We always end up splitting an entree.
It's not that we can't afford the prices.
It's just that we have to watch our diets.
And I don't even ask for desert.
I guess that I'm just older than dirt.
I went to the doctor's the other day –
A regular occurrence at my age.
When he asked me why I was there, I said,
"I'm not really sure," as I shook my head.
I couldn't remember where it hurt.
I must be getting older than dirt.
When I was younger, I used to obsess
About my appearance and kids and pets..
Everything – house, pool, yard, car, and couture –
Had to be perfect. But now I'm matured
And satisfied with whatever works.
My wife says I'm just older than dirt.
The day I first met my beautiful wife,
I knew right off it was love at first sight.
We've shared thirty years on a wild treadmill.
We're older and slower now, but it still
Excites me when she takes off her skirt.
Maybe I'm not quite as old as dirt.
We say young folks should never wed
As early as they think they should.
We say young folks should not expect
To do the things their fathers could.
We say young folks are too inept
To do the things we wish they would.
We say there's something to be said
For growing old – but nothing good.
There's a major difference, it's true,
Between a young man and an old man
Young men do what they have to do
And old men do what they can.